not my first but my last

 hye. now at 12:45 p.m im going to continue about the one who break my wall. i already told u a little about how i started the conversation with him. so today i would like to tell you about how we actually meet for the first time. cause all this time we just having a chat in instagram and never met each other face to face.  this picture was taken on 23 september at 3:35 pm. after he gave me this birthday present. it was a week after my birthday tho hahaha.. XD.. so basically we were just talking about the cute stuff yang dijual kat getawayshopaholic.. ha terpromote sekali lah ig nye.. so ade lah a set of makeup brush ni lawa gile and saje hanta kat dia suh dia tgk cause dia mmg jenis melayan je gile2 aku sume..  then he said nak ke.. i was like NOO!! saje je bagiii.. lalala and then macam mane ntah aku suruh dia teka mana satu aku suka and kalau betul bru boleh belikan HAHAHA.. sebab choices dia memang sume aku suke cume ade satu ni je yang aku rase mmg minat gila.. and turns out he guessed it right!.. then he said okeh dah noted dah boleh beli ha dah.. i was like eeee dia niii.. then he asked for my address so i gave him cause at first i thought dia nak post je la en.. then dia nk hanta by hand.. and im kinda dare him to chat with my mom to ask for permission.. and he accept the dare and he messaged my mom! hehe.. xD.. so back to the story..on that day, that was the first time nampak dia in real life.. he's tall, but! ee he wore a maskkk! X(.. then he said to me happy belated birthday and ade la dia cakap mane boleh bagitau ! XD .. well.. dalam gambar ni.. ni baru one tingkat.. dalam box tu ada 2 tingkat.. yang ni bahagian choc.. and yg bahagian bawah tu lah ade makeup brush tu, cute socks, 2 handkerchieves, a flower and a jar of stars.. origami stars laa.. he's so nice ^^ hehe.. alright thats all for today.. byebye

-xoxo D

Break My Wall

so today at 9:26 am. im writing about myself.. u see.. i had the experience that made me build my own wall.. freaking high okay that wall.. and i made it thicker and thicker so that nobody will be able to break it.. im suffer from depression but not so serious i guess... because when i open up to my mom.. she just said that im just stress.. em maybe she's right.. so okay forget about that.. theres some fact that made me into build the wall, first is because my loved ones before cheat on me.. like we've been together almost 5 years.. but takde jodoh hahaha.. well it made me build my wall sebab i really trust him like real hell.. but he broke me apart.. secondly because of my friend backstabbed me. ouch i know  its really hurt tho.. she just backstabbed me because of a boy that she liked, like me.. like what the hell? backstabbed me just because of a boy? and forget about our friendship? really nonsense..so now my real friend that i trusted the most is from my squad which is esefefff and this one girl's pubg name is avg moon.. only them.. others its not that im not trust them but cannot trust much.. well many people have two faces nowadays.. but.. one day.. theres one man that approach me.. at my instagram.. i really dont know him..but the way he think really catch my attention.. but at first i dont give any sign of interest for him yet.. i remember one thing he did that really made me think "who this unique guy?" it is when i said im at aeon cheras selatan, HE DID GOOGLE IT ! like who dont know aeon cheras thoooo.. XD.. and then he told me that he's from abim.. and that make him MY SENIOR!.. goshh i really frustrated when i dont remember him tho.. cause im the one that will never forget the one that i know.. then he said he not really into social.. so now i get it.. then one day he said to me he likes me but he dont want to couple.. i was like "are u sure?" cause he is my senior and he probably dont know what my personality are and all stuff, then why he liked me? after that im trying my best to not put hope and build my wall thicker.. few weeks later or month i dont remember.. i think that im attach to this guy and feels like i want to trust him.. his effort, his attitude, his personality, his stories made me completely madly in love with him now.. he is the only one.. that able to Break My Wall.. S.K, i love you.. 

-XOXO D

Fight For Our Love

now at 11:01 am im writing about this topic.. love. what is love actually? what's your opinion to define love? is it just to let out our desire for love only? or is it something wonderful that only a person who dares to go deep in it will see it? In my perspective, love requires courage, sacrifice , patience, trust and honesty.. these 5 elements are important to start a love relationship.. if u dont have one of these, dont take a step to it.. one of the element that complete other elements is courage.. if u have that.. u will have all of that..  because u will brave to sacrifice, brave to be patient, brave to trust your partner and brave to speak the truth.. see? just with courage u get to do all the elements.. but of course its not easy.. its easy to talk than do it.. right? in love, u will have so much test..for example, your parents trust, your parents plan and stuff, third person that will ruin your relationship, your bestfriend that like your partner pfft yea its funny.. but for today, i just wanna talk about the obstacles from our parent. we as their child need to follow their instruction as long as tak bercanggah dengan agama. okay thats cool. but we are talking about love stuff here. marriage and suff. we've been hear a lot about marriage arrangement right? where our parents choose a person that need to be with us by hook or by crook. even when we already have the love of our life. but there are also a kind of parents that dont trust about love in highschool life. yea its true orang cakap cinta monyet la time zaman sekolah ni.. but what if.. out of 1000 people.. theres 2 person that completely love each other and really serious about their future and will take care of each other no matter what? do they need to be the victim ? disebabkan oleh 998 orang yang tak serious about their relationship and like to change partner, these serious 2 person need to sacrifice? what a nonsense.. memang Allah tentukan jodoh kite.. but is it wrong to have a confidence that the one we love now will be our future? instead of memilih and menunggu dan mencari, why not u usaha? usaha untuk stay with your partner..Allah takkan bagi sesuatu kalau hamba dia tak usaha.. so? lainlah kalau u dah usaha then memang takde jodoh tu cerita lain.. tu dah masuk bahagian reda.. but selagi ada chance.. why not take the chance? see deeper .. dont judge by ur experience.. cause tak semua orang akan lalui bende sama.. maybe akan lalui bende sama but with different way and solution. fikir and hadam. thats all from me today.. chau

-xoxo D

moving on

so today.. at 9:46 pm.. im writing about this topic today.. about moving on.. what is actually moving on? is it just spesifically for those who want to move on from their ex? or their loved ones? is it moving on is something that u need to find someone new? someone new to help u forget the old one? woah hold on.. tu dah salah sangat tho.. why? its like u used someone to make u forget the old one.. basically.. this topic is really general u know.. cause tak spesifik pon untuk one particular issue like lovers.. it can be moving on about your life, moving on for the better future, or moving on to make yourself stronger. but actually.. is it their fault? is it their fault to move on? no. but the way they move on is it correct way or the opposite of it? from my experience.. moving on is something that u will achieve if u never look back again.. its like when someone leave you.. or someone make you hurt.. or the life are so cruel to u.. and you want to move on.. but u keep remembering things from past.. so dari situ u takkan dapat moveon.. secondly, because u keep blaming yourself or blaming other people.. this world are never be fair to us.. thats the fact.. but who are we? if u not forgiving yourself, then who else ? try to accept your mistake..people make mistake.. who are we to not forgive them? trust me.. if you learn to accep things.. you will be able to 'move on'. u know in my case.. i fell in love with this guy..but he did something that i can never forget.. one day he came back.. saying things that can make me fell in love again.. but he still did a same mistake.. so i feel like.. what do i do wrong to accept this kind of situation? maybe i did something wrong back then.. but all i can think right now is.. forget him.. dont turn back.. cause if i do.. i will always want to know what happen to him and it will make my life much more harder. so all i want to say to u out there.. we, human, always make mistake.. but.. we need to LEARN from the mistake and try to avoid the same mistake to be happen again. try to aim your goals .. and try to achieve them no matter how hard it is.. try and never giveup. at one point.. u will be able to completely "MOVE ON"

-XOXO,D